Family Court gets it wrong or did they.

When the decision came through that allowed my daughters relocation everybody who I am involved with was effected and could not understand why the judge would allow such an injustice.

I self represented and did a poor job of this but even if I did a perfect job the decision would still have been the same. I did allow the Judge enough amo to paint me as a bad person in some aspects and made the mistake of concentrating on the here and now and not defending accusations of the distant past considering the case should be judged on the consistencies of 5 years of 50/50 care and the positive aspects of this. The reality was this just allowed the judge to back up his decision but had no bearing on why the decision was made it simply allowed him to confirm why even though he admitted he didn't believe what was said.

The crucial points for his decision was referring to a case from the eastern states where relocation was allowed creating president and the fact of proof that the mother had created an environment for the child which was detrimental for the child.

Briefly to explain what happened.

The mother had remarried and due to the husbands profession started a business, she then moved the husband and the business some 300k's away from where the child lived, this was all fine until she then decided to encourage her other two youngest children from a previous marriage to pursue educational commitments that could only be done in the city, although there was no need she then moved them to the city, with this she moved the family pets and most the contents of the home but remained in the home.

All this meant my daughters home environment changed dramatically, she lost her siblings, her pets and much of her environment at her mothers. This then allowed extreme emotional pressure to be used on my daughter by her sibling encouraged by her mother. Her siblings, victims themselves were encouraged to put as much pressure on my daughter as possible, at the time my daughter was 8, they confided in her how difficult it was not seeing her, cried when they did see her and when they had to separate they expressed to her just how much she was missing out on and how life was so much better, they played heavily on how the pets missed and so many other unscrupulous things. My daughter also had a 19 year old sister who had moved to the city some years prior who would do the same but took it one step further by spending time talking to her manipulating the conversation and trying to encourage my daughter to say bad things about life in our home whilst swaying the conversation to try and get her to want to move. No doubt you can understand an 8 year old child would be easily swayed at the point of conversation but once away from this influence and in our environment she was simply glad to be home with no pressure.

Once this was done and my daughter was left with no siblings, no pets and a stripped down home with her mother it was time for Mum to go to work, always showing just how unhappy she was, taking to sleeping in the same bed as my daughter, allowing time away from school telling my daughter it was because of the emotional strain of not seeing her siblings, taking Fridays off school to travel to the city because that where " our family " is, creating anxiety in all aspects of my daughters life and further confusing her.

At this time we still had 50/50 and when home in our environment my daughter simply breathed again and became the little girl she was.

Her mother told her she would not leave our home town with out her and that if need be she would live between both places, one week in the country one week in the city.

This is where the problem lies.

There is no doubt that the mother would continue her abuse if the judge refused relocation and allowed 50/50 to continue, we all know 50/50 is best for the child when both parents work together positively but 50/50 would have been detrimental to my daughter if her mother continued down the same path, and she would have with the reality of probably getting worse and the Judge recognized this fact.

We then consider the fact of siblings and it's a no brainer, siblings are important but recognizing the fact of age difference the main emphasis giving to the siblings would be the destructive influences they could create on my girl if she remained in our home town.

Then consider which parent would better cope with being separated from the child, an already proven to be emotionally abusive mother or a father who has been shown to be positive and supportive with an ability to adapt.

I may not have liked the decision to allow relocation and it may have hurt like hell and I'm still working through all that is involved with not being the father I want to be but this whole post is about did the judge make the right decision.

Here is the unfortunate reality.

My daughters mother will not change I don't believe even if she is forced to seek professional help she will change I do not believe Court Orders will make her change, I do believe she would have continued destroying our daughter if she did not get what she wanted. I do not believe she is the better parent nor do I believe she will ever stop trying to influence our daughter into believing " mum is better than dad and you need to love mum more than dad just look at what mum does for you ".

I can and am dealing with the situation and although I am so burnt out things remain positive when my girl is home, she is still positively influenced by myself and has kept her weired sense of humor, yes she is changing and some not for the best but I'm still in there making a difference. Her home life with her mother has gone back to boisterous arguing in the family unit, shouting, yelling and abusing each other, the kids never continued with their pursuits of education, mothers husband is just there with no real relationship with my daughter to speak of apart from her reciting mums negative thoughts about him which of course is done behind his back and mum is still trying to buy the love of her daughter.

Thing is it would have been much worse if relocation was not allowed and this is the simple truth it's not perfect and amounts of abuse still exist but it is a better option than constant abuse whilst with her mother 50% of the time.

Unfortunately