My story

Hello. My name is John T. I stumbled onto the PA site by accident but glad I did. It's great to know I'm not alone but also very sad to see this sort of thing is happening so much. I've read a lot of the letters & in comparison, my story seems almost mild. But my situation is with me everyday and my kids are always in my heart and on mind.
In early 2007, after  22yrs of marriage, I left. I can't put it any more plainly! I left my wife & the family home. We had 4 kids together. At that stage they were 17boy, 13girl, 9girl and 4boy. 
I moved into a small bed sit 10minutes away from them & saw them quite often during the week. I`m not saying things were great but the situation was bearable. The kids were very upset and I did my best to maintain as much contact as I could, visiting and day trips as often as possible. Slowly I found that when I rang to arrange to see the kids, their mother had organised to be out at that time. It came to a head when xmas day 2007, I asked to come and exchange gifts and spend time with them. I was told "you`ve got 45 minutes, we`re busy for the rest of the day". I took the 45 minutes and asked to come back later that day or even take them out on boxing day. No response. The lack of communication with the mother continued and my time with my kids was being cut more and more.
I kept getting asked questions from my parents as to why I wasn`t supporting my children financially? Was I really homosexual? And when did I start taking illicit drugs? These statements were all made to them by my then wife and of course all were (and still are) totally untrue. Slowly I could see a lot of my family and many of our mutual friends were distancing themselves from me. 
Because of the impossible lack of time I was given with my kids, their mother had moved into another relationship and a lack of support from those that I once loved, I could see I needed to get away for my own self preservation. I went to a very dark place and I could see I wouldn`t last very long without a change. I decided to move interstate for a fresh new start. I moved to West Australia in March 2008.
Once here and settled, I kept in touch with the kids with a couple of phone calls a week and letters, parcels and gifts sent regularly. I`ve never missed a birthday, xmas or easter. Distressing the most was the fact that my two daughters slowly faded away and when I asked to speak to them, I was told they weren`t home or that they just didn`t want to talk to me for some reason. 
The phone calls went from two or three per week to once a week because of commitments the mother had and couldn`t always be at home when I rang. I asked for the girls mobile numbers but was refused, instead, being told I must  ring on a particular day and at a specific time. I have done this religiously since then till now. I know it`s only a phone call but I hang out for it and hold on to it as such a precious thing. 
In mid 2008 the mother headed overseas following a religious cause. She was away for 3 weeks & "farmed" the kids out to some of her friends. I had no idea how to contact them, where they were & was going out of my mind with worry. This happened again in 2009. She "hops" on a plane, leaves the kids with christ knows who, and I`m left wondering. She has taken the kids away for interstate xmas holidays. Again, my one and only weekly phone call goes unanswered and again, I wonder what the hell is going on. 
I have constantly and consistantly been asking for details about my kids, their movements over holidays, their health, progress at school and maybe the possibilty of the odd school photo. Nothing comes back ever! I have only recently discovered that my youngest son has hospitalised after being stung by a bee. This was shocking news to me. My dismay worsened when I found that this had happened several months prior.  In 2010 I sent my youngest son, a mini laptop so we could Skype. Since he recieved it, we`ve seen eachother once. I`ve had all the exuses from,,,  "lost the power cord" , "Skype was accidently erased from the system"  and sadly my son confesses " Dad I don`t know how to set it up"   
Our divorce was finalised in March 2009 and property settlement was over and done with in early 2010. I walked away with almost nothing but happy to do so because all my kids were still living with their mum in the home that I built.  
I have been back to N.S.W. many times but the restrictions the mother places on me were bizarre.  No driving a vehicle, stay in the local area and get my son back before 5pm. No more than two consecutive days are to be spent together is another one I didn't understand. I complied with all these restrictions in fear of not knowing what rights I had.
The very last time I spoke to the mother was November 2010. The conversation was amicable and I said I was looking forward to having the kids visit me in W.A. She begged me to call my solicitor off so we could work things out together. I agreed and also agreed that she will organise consent orders. I recieved the consent orders and to my surprise and disappointment, it just said that the children would stay in their mothers care, would not leave N.S.W., and if I wanted to see them, I would need to give the mother at least 4-6 weeks notice. There was no mention of pending visits to W.A. or anything else about contact as the mother and I spoke about. I was very upset and consulted my solicitor.
Now,,,  I`ve had the same solicitor since late 2008. I have to say, she is brilliant. She`s like a little terrier that just won`t let go. She is compassionate but still hits me with a dose of reality when I need it. She`s not high profile, infact, her husband is her secretary. Could not recommend her services more. 
My ex-wife on the other hand is up to her third legal team. Her first dealt with our property settlement and issues related to my contact with my kids. The second was a legal aid firm who seemed to "drop her like a lead balloon" when I started asking constantly for details regarding my kids. Her third and current legal rep leaves ethics, morals and standards at the front door as she leaves for work in the morning. I would love to name and shame.
This is where we are up to now...
I sent my ex-wife a very carefully worded letter in Febuary 2011. In it I asked that she help "fascilitate" communication and contact between myself and my kids. I asked that she free up the lines of communication both ways and provide me with more (any) information about times for visitation. I asked to be informed of any medical situation that arose. 
And finally asked that if any of the kids wanted to visit me in WA that they be allowed to. I asked her to call me to discuss the letter, again providing all my contact details. 
I would ask for her during my permitted phone calls but she was never willing to come to the phone or she wasn't home. 
I waited 8 weeks and started legal proceedings in the FLC. So far there has been one appearance in July and a telephone link up in August 2010. Affidavits from her are thick with BS and very hurtful. But I will persevere because I hold on to the hope that the truth, my truth will see me reunited with my kids fully one day.