Relief in Identifying what is happening to me!

I am a Nan who has lost her two beautiful grandchildren to their father and step mother.  They have no contact with their mother (my daughter) or any of her family of friends.  It is very sad and I feel as though I have lost them forever.  I am trying to be strong to support my daughter whose heart is broken but it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I believe you that we do have to work hard to be positive and strong and hold onto the belief that if they loved us they will one day want to be part of our lives again.  The tragedy for me is that the Authorities just don't want to know about Parent Alienation and they all seem to offer the same advice which is "give them some time and they will come back".  Unfortunately, it just doesn't work like that and the longer the alienation is allowed to continue the more damage is being done.  I worry for the children too in these situations as they may suffer mental issues later on in their lives and feel much guilt for hurting the alienated parent so badly.  I cannot even begin to comprehend the hurt and rejection that my daughter and all of the alienated mums and dads must be going through as for me a Nan the hurt and rejection and grief is just devastating. I am going to form a group in Canberra if there is not already one as I believe the alienated parents, grandparents, families and friends really need a support group which not only offers support but reassures them that they are not alone.  Also if the groups can get big enough then the authorities will be forced to listen and then do something about it before it gets out of hand totally.

Hi I have just read your story and was really moved by it and how much I identified with it. I have two children and one who is nearly 18 and one who is 5 1/2. My eldest sons father alientated me from my son when I moved to marry my husband and my then husband was devastated having gone through it when he was a child. 

I had moved to another country and became very very depressed and totally lost myself. My marriage to my new partner was difficult and we ended up separating and eventually got back together whenI got pregnant and then I had the baby still born four days before she was born. I returned to my homeland and when I was there my ex took our son and my home and left me with nothing......

So I came back and lived in a refuge and moved into a flat of my own.....but it has been a long hard struggle. I am very lonely here its difficult getting close to the people here as they are very shut down and my ex's family are very hostile towards me.

I see my little boy growing further and further away from me and there is nothing I can do about it......our relationship is being destroyed bit by bit as I am only allowed to see him in his daycare.

Its a very sad situation because I would do anything to give him all the love in the world as I would have done with my eldest son I cannot believe I met two men the same and had children with them.....

It has completely put me off having a relationship with men in the future unless I know them very well. 

I live in a country that has not supported sustaining my relationship with my son at all they have only heard what my charasmatic ex husband has to say......and because I am a foreigner I have no voice.

I am praying now for discernment regarding whats the best to do for me because I am so unhappy living here....I am so lonely and have no real friends or family and I am a very social person.

I cannot go on sometimes I think I am going insane, we are going to court but I know that court will only give me a piece of paper saying what I am entitled to and its only a matter of time before the anger that my ex holds against me will permeate into my son as it did my eldest son and eventually he will also feel the same. I have no idea what exactly the resentments my youngest sons father has against me.....but I know with my eldest it was because I left his dad.

The sad thing is that if I hadn't have moved to my homeland when I did after I lost the baby my youngest son would still be with me.

With my eldest I wrote to him every week and I kept trying my hardest to keep contact with him but he just wouldn't take the phone and he wouldn't reply to my letters ocasionally I got a thankyou for the gifts I sent but he gets everything from his father as my youngest does and I am just alone here trying to survive.

I hope oneday that I get both my children back in my life again and that I am once again reunited as a mother with her babies......I will keep strong and do my best to be happy but the emptiness is always there.....as you know.